Express Your Love By Expressing Your Dog - The Dirt On A Dog-Owners’ Dirtiest Job

Author: Randal Breaux
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It's called expressing your dog, and it is a chore so foul that it was recently featured on the Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs." Actually, "dirty" hardly does the situation justice.
If your dog is chewing and biting "back there" or dragging its rump across the ground, chances are he is in need of a little expression - of his sphincter glands, that is.
Dogs have special glands that secrete an especially - shall we say - fragrant substance into their poop. It's what makes a dog's poop her own, and it's what dogs sniff for when they are investigating other dogs' rears or their droppings.
Problems occur when these glands get clogged up. The musky fluid begins to collect, and the dogs begin to experience irritating pressure and pain - like a turbo case of hemorrhoids.
Usually, the dog is able to express - or squeeze out - some of the fluid and get the glands flowing again. If your dog has ever been inexplicably stinky - almost like he has gotten into rotten fish or something, then chances are you've experienced a do-it-yourself expression job.
If you're lucky, the sacred event took place outside, but just as often the residue ends up saturating carpet or expensive furniture. Yum!
Things get worse if the dog is unable to alleviate the problem, and the situation goes unchecked. As you might imagine, this can be an excruciating experience for your dog. Finally, you will most likely be saddled with an expensive vet bill, and your dog will end up needing a most uncomfortable surgical procedure.
Getting Down to Dirty Business
All of this can be easily avoided by a little human intervention. Expressing a dog is a simple enough procedure - it's the mental challenge that is most difficult to overcome. Vile fluids squirting from a dog's butt is certainly not a mental image you'd want to hold during meditation or anything.
Honestly, it's really not bad. The liquid smells like fish, not …uh …you know. It's mostly clear liquid, and it rinses pretty easily. It doesn't have the staying power of the substance that cats spray (which is truly disgusting!).
Finding the glands is easy. If the butt hole itself is the center of a clock, the two glands sit at the four and eight o'clock positions about two inches from the "center." From the outside (and it is strongly suggested you stay outside, even though vets usually venture in), they feel like kidney beans, although distended glands can get significantly larger.
Before you dive in, I can hardly stress enough the importance of pointing the dog's bottom away from you and anything else you care about. Also, make sure you have something to wash the dog and your surroundings down after the procedure. If it's warm, take the dog outside; if it's cold, a shower stall that has a rinse hose is a good option.
I can recommend two expressing techniques. First, the upward thrust: position your thumb and forefinger each under one gland; push in to make sure your digits are firmly fixed under each; then give a strong lift, squeezing the glands upward. If you are successful, usually you will be rewarded with a good squirt - about the same as a squirt gun. Sometimes the fluid gets sludgy, in which case a small black worm of crud will emerge. Repeat a few times as required to make sure you've emptied both glands thoroughly.
If this technique does not produce the desired result, then you should try the more direct approach: pinching each gland separately, squeezing both sides toward the middle. Expect similar results as when using the first technique.
Do it Yourself?
If you are too squeamish to contemplate perpetrating such an abomination, you will be happy to know that professional help is available. Most groomers are willing to render this value-added service for a small consideration during a regular grooming; failing that, your local vet can certainly perform the ritual, but usually at a higher fee.
I find, however, that my own dogs (three pugs) seem to appreciate my keeping this very personal need of theirs within the confines of the family. When I first started doing the expression thing myself, I wore what amounted to a home-made hazmat suit, but over the years my resolve has stiffened quite a bit.
Nowadays, I generally don't even bother with gloves. I just take the dogs outside next to the hose and aim them away. A quick squirt and rinse and the job's done. No big deal, really. It's a small price to pay for a happy, comfortable dog - who seem to appreciate me all the more for it.About the AuthorVisit the Internet Pug Club, featuring articles, screen savers, browser start pages, electronic greeting cards, and merchandise... all featuring the almighty pug. Other breed lovers are welcome. For details, visit: http://www.go-pugs.com
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Dog Beds: Buy With Your Dog In Mind Luxury Dog Beds

Author: Kim Blithe
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As you can imagine, the most important thing to consider when buying a dog bed is size. If your dog is too big for the bed you buy, there is a very good chance that you have wasted your money. Make sure that you know how big your dog is, and then choose a bed that is going to be plenty big enough. This way, your dog will feel just like they do in your bed.
Of course, you should also consider style when buying a dog bed. In fact, there are many luxury dog beds that you may want to look into. If you want to treat your dog like a queen or king, there is no better way of doing so than buying it a luxury dog bed. These come equipped with a pillow, a fleece liner, and much more. This will go a long way in making sure that your dog’s bed looks good no matter what room of the house you put it in.
The dog bed that you purchase should also be comfortable. This goes along with the style points listed above. When you buy a dog bed that is lined in fleece and comes with a pillow, you never have to worry about your dog’s comfort. In fact, there is a good chance that their bed will be more comfortable than yours!
Even though dog beds are becoming more popular does not mean that prices are skyrocketing. In fact, you should be able to purchase a top of the line, luxury dog bed, for as little as $80. For this price your dog will have a stylish yet comfortable bed of its own.
So if you are tired of your dog sleeping with you, look into buying it a smaller bed. You may be surprised at just how much they will love it!About the AuthorKim Blithe is a pet lover who specializes in holistic dog care. She loves to find unique products for her dogs. Her preferred dog bed and unique products are found at Woofingtonmanor.com .
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Dog Food Analysis – Answering Dog Owners Main Concerns About Healthy Dog Food

Submitted By: Moses Wright
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Pet food is a heavily regulated product and as such is covered by legislation throughout the United States, Canada, and throughout Europe as well. In the States, pet food manufacturers are regulated by the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. The Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO), who are advised by the Food and Drug Administration's Center for Veterinary Medicine (CVM), monitor the ingredient ratios and manufacturing standards for pet food ingredients.
Unfortunately, as there is no stringent legislation the States which demands a basic benchmark of nutritional balance, there are less scrupulous manufacturers who add chemicals to their brands which have been proven to contribute to the early degeneration of an animal's health. Advertising is also suspect as times, as some manufacturers make false claims by stating that a brand is suitable for senior animals when in fact it is manufactured for the general consumption of adult animals.
In the UK and many European countries, the regulatory body is the European Pet Food Industry Federation (FEDIAF). They lay down guidelines for the manufacture, labelling and advertising for pet foods and demand high standards for ingredient ratios and manufacture, but similar to the case in the States, many of the guidelines for petfood manufacturers are voluntary when it comes to additives and ingredients sourcing. There is expert veterinary research suggesting that pet food is actively contributing to the failing health of pets because of the inadequate standards and the permitted inclusion of additives.
What can you do to make sure that you are feeding your dog a healthy diet that will keep him healthy, fit and energetic throughout his life?
Your first port of call is the label. Check the list of ingredients and see which constituents are listed in the first five. If the dominant ingredient is cereal, chances are, the dog food you are considering is mostly made of ground cereals. And sad to say, ground cereal does not fulfil most of the nutritional requirements that a healthy dog needs. Also take note of the other chemicals that are added in the dog food and do some investigations as to the purpose and effects of these chemicals.
Another possible avenue is to read up on the research and development of particular dog foods you're considering for your pet. Bear in mind if other animals were used development of their products, and the purpose for utilising animals in their research. Make enquiries into the specific tests conducted to ensure that the finished product is safe for your pet’s consumption and to ensure that your pet will enjoy the food as well.
Once you have gathered adequate information, take time to consult your vet about the options available for ensuring that your dog stays healthy and active for as many years as possible. What you feed your dog is ultimately your choice, but bear in mind that the choices you make have a direct bearing on his current and future health.About the AuthorMoses Wright is the webmaster of http://DogCustomer.com. He provides more information on Dog Health, Dog Health Care and Dog Veterinary Diseases that you can learn in the comfort of your home. You are welcome to reprint this article if you keep the content and live link intact.
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Dog Training Tips - Your Inner Dog Is A Good Dog

Submitted By: Rodney Waitts
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Dog training tips flow freely when your dogs misbehave. But how much of that unsolicited dog training advice is good advice?
Meanwhile your dog may actually be driving you bonkers with barking excessively, jumping up, biting, whining, not listening. Relax. You usually CAN do something about it. Often not through using the free dog training tips so lavishly bestowed on you in the park though!
Of course prevention is half the cure and careful selection of your dog before you get him is essential. Does the type of dog fit your circumstances? After all, different breeds are bred for certain tasks, be it hunting, herding, guarding, killing or chasing.
But you've not bought a pup, with the first main task often dog house training? You've bought an older dog WITH behavioral issues? Still relax. Help may be at hand.
Just as with raising children it pays you to know a bit about how to do this, and why. You can get someone in for some basic dog training but that can set you back anything between $300 and $2,000.
Really, there is no free dog training like your own. Quality time! If you and your dog want to enjoy life together then why not work on this as a team right from the word go.
Oops! Did I say "go"”. "Sit"... and read on.
Dog training is not a top-down affair. Your dog assesses you for what's "good" or "bad". If you're not sure or inconsistent then you'll both pay for that. So, robust dog training tips address owner training too.
So, just for a taste, here are some basic dog training tips.
* Train your dog in different settings for the same commands. If she obeys a certain command in the home context she may not in the park.
* Don't allow pups to jump up, chase and bite trouser cuffs because it's so much fun. Later they won't know why its bad to chew on your foot!
* Use exactly the same short command words for the desired behavior every time! Then "sit" will means "sit", not "stop" or "stay"! You may believe your dog is an Einstein but he too believed in elegant simplicity.
* Dog jumping up? Knocking over grandma? Put your open hand in front of its nose every time or use your knee if a larger dog (I take no responsibility in case of the possible loss of your knee). Then look it in the eye, say "sit" and sit it down physically if it does not obey.
* And, a tired dog is a good dog. Exercise!
Your simple and consistent approach will pay off.
All this is commonsense but you need a good set of guidelines. You can join dog training classes, getting a dog trainer to come to you, or read dog training books. Because it takes more than a few dog training tips to practically love your dog through good training.
Always check out trainers with good personal references. And there are some good books out there to do it yourself.
Yes, some dogs drive you bonkers but never forget that the reverse applies too. All dog training tips should include the advice that dog training is not just for the dog! Hmmm...About the AuthorRodney Waitts grew up with dogs. His family always had them. So do the kids in his family. And, just like having kids, owning a dog is a real responsibility, and can be sooo rewarding and much fun. But when you don't know how to raise them life can be very trying indeed.Go to http://www.dogteach.org
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Speak To The Dog, About What Matters To The Dog, In The Language Of The Dog

Submitted By: Steve Jackson
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What are the most important factors that influence conversion rates?
A joint of roast beef is sizzling over an open fire on a glorious summer day. The aroma fills the air as you cut the juicy meat into generous slices and stack them on a plate to pass around your friends. Your pet dog, driven crazy by the smell starts begging, whining and running around excitedly, hoping for a piece of the delicious steak.
“Speak to the dog, about what matters to the dog in the language of the dog”Jeff Eisenberg – Call to action
What Jeff doesn’t mean is start barking at people.
What he means is write for your target audience, about what it is they want, in a simple and attractive way. I’m sure that you’re now thinking about roast beef. That’s what you need to do when writing for your website, try to put a picture in your prospects head. The most important factors influencing conversion rates are your copy and content, your copy attracts, persuades and provides momentum, while your content answers all your prospects questions. Design, usability, measurement and testing should all be taken into account but they come after you figure out what it is you want to say and to whom you want to say it.
Where do you normally start when working with a new client? Is there a set process you follow?
Yes. We start by asking lots of questions. Initially we get the basic business information so we can ascertain how deeply the client has thought about their website as a business. You’d be surprised how many companies don’t know what their cost per visit is or their profit per website visitor. So we develop a business objective so that we can say, ‘this is where you are now’.
Next we’ll do an analysis of how far we think we can take them, based on their own limitations and budget. Then we can say what service they might need to take them to the next level. Not all businesses need the same things, some need tweaks to marketing strategies, some need better copy and content so it’s hard to answer. But the process we use is the same to find out what the client really needs.
How important is it to use web analytics tools to find on-site problems?
You can’t prove whether anything works on a website without web analytics tools. I advise every client I’ve ever worked with to get web analytics. I won’t work with an enterprise level company if they haven’t got web analytics. The tools allow you to do 2 things very well, pinpoint problems and measure your tests. Without this capability you’re pretty much guessing.
Can you suggest some generic KPIs that e-commerce teams should be monitoring?
There are lots and you should decide upon metrics which you can act upon. However here are some you might want to think about adopting;
· Site-wide conversion rate· Product conversion rates· Percentage of new and returning visitors· Sales per visitor· Average order value· Average number of items purchased· Shopping cart abandonment rate (step conversions)· Revenue and Profit per product· Repeat order rate, to help calculate long term value· Cost per visit· Profit per website visit
Also don’t forget to set trip wires like page views per visit. I’ve explained it better about in this article; How Web Analytics Found A Million Dollar Hole
Is Google Analytics going to be good or bad for the industry?
Basically yes I believe it is going to be good for the industry. I’m delighted about it. Rather than write another 1000 words on the subject though;Read this article
Too many paid-search and affiliate programmes do not create campaign-specific landing pages. What are the key elements that should be found on a landing page?
Compelling copy and content. Complimentary design, a graphic should help people to see the text or reinforce the message not just be there for the sake of it. One link from the landing page – the call to action, IE the buy now button. A landing page should already attract the audience who want what you have so you needn’t persuade them to go elsewhere by giving them any other links or options. Nick Usborne wrote a nice article about this;
How To Write A Landing Page
Do you have any metrics to share about landing pages, eg before / after conversion rates?
On average e-commerce landing pages get about 2-2.5% conversions. After we’ve worked on changes we tend to improve things by 40-50%. So usually 2.8-3.3% convert after the changes to a single call to action landing page. Of course it depends on the type of business and the traffic source. Banner ads are always lower than PPC ads for instance.
You’re a big fan of A/B testing. How can web teams implement these tests and what should they be testing?
The basic principle is that you write two test pages, direct equal traffic to each and see which works better. It’s possible to write your own traffic splitter code if you are only testing a few things at a time and you have in house programmers. Or you could outsource the testing to something like Offermatica which handles the test pages and the traffic splitting.
Things you might want to test using an A/B split are headlines, copy blocks, graphical images, banner ads, PPC ads, button colours, in fact anything where you have the potential to improve the response and be able to measure the improvements.
Do you have an idea of conversion metrics by sector? Which sectors are leading the way in terms of conversion rates? Which ones are underperforming?
We’ve compiled a list of averages by sector from a variety of different sources (including e-consultancy.com) which you can see here;
What Is An Average Conversion rate?.
No-one is really sure how accurate these figures are. They seem reasonable based on the top e-tailers who hit global conversion rates of between 11-16% (we’re talking about online retailers like Amazon, Ebay and QVC)
The sectors which have always done the best are the catalogue companies and the average figure suggests a 6.1% conversion rate. In our experience this seems about right. I have worked up conversion to those levels with a number of catalogue companies that were hitting lower than 6% before and some have come to us with slightly higher conversion rates than 6% initially.
The underperformers seem to me to be sport/outdoor retailers or fashion and apparel. They really should be hitting much higher levels than the average level 1.4-2.2%.
Creating web pages is a balancing act between the needs of the business and the needs of the user. Factor in the needs of the search engines and that’s quite a challenge. Where should your priorities lie?
The needs of the user are the most important. The business need in most cases is simply to make or save money. Businesses should achieve both their own business objective while catering for the user so that she can accomplish her goals. The more that the she accomplishes the better it should be for your business. Search engine marketing is important but you should never sacrifice copy or content simply to rank highly on Google. The search optimization should and can be implemented, but it should still persuade the person reading the copy that your solution is for them. Yes it is a balancing act but if you prioritize with the users in all cases then you’re on the right track.
How can accessibility and usability play a part in increasing conversion rates?
Usability is necessary. You should follow all the best practices regards navigation, colours and layout. Accessibility is becoming increasingly important. We’ve seen our own visitors ask us to change font sizes (make them bigger) for instance. We now have a function on our own site which allows you to adjust the text through the browser to any size you like.
Which online retailers do you most admire for their shopping cart processes? And which ones are a ‘dropout from basket’ waiting to happen?
Amazon and Cafepress.com have very friendly and simple interfaces. The interesting thing about these two sites is that while they do take your details and record them so it’s easier for you the next time you visit, they do not ask you to “open an account” or “create account” because the wording itself puts many people off. How many times have you bought something from Amazon because they “suggested” something based on your interests? Amazon really understands about building a site around what the user wants (or might want based on their preferences).
The sites which are a drop-out waiting to happen are the ones which have common problems, like requiring registration before a purchase, long checkout processes (I’ve seen ten steps to purchase before), no shipping information displayed, no privacy policies, no security (SSL encryption), lack of guarantees and return policies, the list is endless.
Copywriting is an increasingly essential art form for many e-commerce teams. But the challenges for large websites can be immense, if authoring occurs at a local level. How can you manage authors so that they stick to the conversion-focused rules?
Firstly we figure out what their limitations are. The content management systems or technical backend may mean that we need to adapt our methods to their systems. Then we hold them by the hand for a number of their most popular products showing them how we’ve come to the copy and content we’ve developed. Then we design a custom template with rules to follow so that the content managers can work to a specification. The content managers are then responsible for their own testing to improve the site copy and this is done in conjunction with A/B split testing and or web analytics. We either handle that ourselves or train the managers to do it themselves. Ownership of the site is key, by getting the content managers to own and develop their content based on what works, gradually the conversion improves.
Do you have any insight into how the demographics and conversion rates differ between Google, Yahoo and MSN users?
The demographics are important and can mean a whole change of strategy for some businesses. This observation of the Nielsen//Netratings figures by Danny Sullivan is particularly good and current;http://searchenginewatch.com/reports/article.php/2156451
As for conversion rates from different engines, we have yet to do a study of that and I don’t know anyone who has. We tend to work on a client by client basis and work out the best sources of traffic for each, based on their own particular product ranges.
(Obligatory end of year question alert…) What do you think will be the top trends for webmasters in 2006?
I’d like to think that the focus will shift from traffic acquisition via search engines to traffic conversion but I think it’s still a little bit too early for that in Europe. It’s beginning now in the US and I think it will take another year before the UK and later Europe really start to focus on it. I do feel that this year because of Google Analytics more focus will shift toward web analytics, which in my view is as important for the industry as when PPC was introduced. It means businesses will be able to use a quality tool without paying a fortune and see for themselves how a good tool can affect the bottom line. This can only be a good thing as the trend will shift towards measurement rather than best guessing which has been going on for far too long.About the AuthorSteve Jackson is the Editor of the Conversion Chronicles, a website conversion rate marketing newsletter dedicated to improving website conversion rates (http://www.conversionchronicles.com). He is also the CEO of Aboavista a web conversion and web analytics consultancy based in Finland and the USA (http://www.aboavista.com/references.php).
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